As I grow more seasoned, I am always in awe that the more I live, the more I have to learn, especially about being a father.
I became a father at age 27. In preparation, I borrowed countless books from the local library on the “science” of fatherhood and parenting in general. Note that I had to physically visit the library, which was about two miles from our home in Redhill, Surrey, UK, because there was no internet.
My wife and I reviewed names for our first child, who happened to be our only child, and we consumed almost everything we could about being parents, especially about my role as a father. The desire to have a daughter drove me to delve further into fatherhood because I grew up without a sister, being the eldest of five boys who followed a sister who died a few months after birth.
As a father, I wanted to be the very best I could be. But, as with most things, you can only do what you know, and though I read numerous books on the subject, life is an evolutionary process, and every day you encounter new and unique situations that even the most extensive reading doesn’t cover. Our daughter is now 38 years old. She, her husband, and our grandchildren lived with us for almost six years, and during that time, I have been amazed at the amount of learning and self-development in fatherhood I had to undergo.
Our three grandkids, the eldest being seven, have shed new light on the fact that we are never fully prepared for fatherhood and that the learning is never-ending. I am always researching new techniques and approaches to fatherhood, and in return, my daughter and her family, especially the grandkids, have provided the love and fortitude that made me proud to have been part of their upbringing.
Today, being Father’s Day, happens to be the day my daughter and her family have ventured off to live together a great distance from us. I will certainly miss the experience of personal growth in being a father, but I will forever be grateful that I have experienced a second round of that grand journey called fatherhood. I am looking forward to seeing the ongoing development of the young people. The evolution never stops.
Happy Father’s Day to all. Especially to my father, my father-in-law, all my uncles, brothers and everyone who has undertaken the role of fatherhood.
“I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way.
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be.”
